Critiquing Positivity

We have some pretty exceptional alumni in the Awaken coaches community, and I love this writing from one recent grad, Nick Patrick - https://Nickpat.com. He's such a kind, thoughtful person, and I'm not a bit surprised that he's built a beautiful coaching practice and has already achieved his international ACC credential.

At Awaken, we talk a lot about integrating light and dark, accepting and welcoming all parts of ourselves, and moving beyond praise or criticism. Here's what Nick has to say in this guest post:

"The violence of positivity, does not deprive, it saturates; it does not exclude, it exhausts.”

~ Kyung-Chul Han

This quote really resonated with me...

Because we often hear of the perils of negativity, and how its pervasiveness can lead to a toxic and debilitating culture.

Yet, for some reason, positivity never receives the same level of scrutiny.

But…

I would like to put forward a case that positivity can inflict the same damage when unchecked.

This is especially so if the positivity is only to convince yourself and others that a brighter day is on the horizon - even when the indicators point to the contrary.

Like negativity, positivity is a coping mechanism...

A mechanism derived from one's lived experience, and not necessarily an accurate response to reality.

If your positive psychological state remains strong, even while your energy is getting depleted, that positivity is just a form of self-soothing. It becomes like any other coping mechanism, whose aim is to provide comfort, not resolution.

In other words...

Positivity becomes toxic or destructive if you keep convincing your mind to stay positive while your body has no more positive energy left.

And if we don’t listen to our body, WE BURN OUT!

The positive, just like the negative, is incomplete.

Depending on one over the other still places an invisible shackle on you. It prevents you from analyzing the reality as objectively as you can.

✅ If you’re a NEGATIVE person - you tend to minimize your agency to change your circumstances.

✅ If you’re a POSITIVE person - you prevent yourself from just being and reflecting on what will truly allow you to grow.

Positivity needs to be replenished as soon as you draw from it, lest it become unsustainable, burning you out before you ever see the fruits of your positive mindset.

If all you have is positivity, it’s time to retool your toolbox. 🤗"

Thanks, Nick! Beautifully said!