Coach Approach

Friendships have been tricky for me. When I was a kid, I often felt awkward and I experienced being ostracized. When I was a young adult, I made great friendships, but often felt I was masking myself to appear more extroverted, fun, and interesting. I never really liked partying and being in loud crowds, and I didn't even consider work friendships. 

Now that I've been coaching for a loooooong time (wow -time flies!), most of my deepest adult friendships are thoroughly supported by being excelle…

I had a coaching conversation recently that I left feeling "ick" about. Something in me knew I hadn't served my client well. This was an amazing person with so many clear strengths, and they were in pain because of really difficult situation.

I focused on the person's qualities and the choices before them, and after I hung up the call, I thought, "Shoot. I totally missed it. This person needed me to just stay with them in the pain a little longer. They don't need fixing or changing or even empo…

We have some pretty exceptional alumni in the Awaken coaches community, and I love this writing from one recent grad, Nick Patrick - https://Nickpat.com. He's such a kind, thoughtful person, and I'm not a bit surprised that he's built a beautiful coaching practice and has already achieved his international ACC credential.

At Awaken, we talk a lot about integrating light and dark, accepting and welcoming all parts of ourselves, and moving beyond praise or criticism. Here's what Nick has to say i…

My friend Suzanne Lucas (aka the Evil HR Lady, and who is hilarious) told me this story: 

"In fourth grade, a classmate's mom came in with brownies to celebrate the child's birthday. There were two covered pans of brownies.

Now, there is pretty much nothing I won't do for a brownie. Brownies are amazing. I love brownies with my whole soul. 4th grade Suzanne was no different.

But then the mom took the tinfoil off the brownie pan to display coconut frosted brownies. What type of evil person would…

It's been an interesting ride for me to have lived outside of my home country for half my life. I find that I can often see things from a variety of perspectives, and it sometimes baffles me when I see people getting outraged by one viewpoint or another (even though I do the same often enough myself). 

Take the Olympic opening ceremony in Paris.

Some people saw it as a gorgeous, joyous, festive, contradictory, messy, over-the-top, oh-so-French tribute to love, inclusion, solidarity, diversity,…

I've loved receiving coaching from my buddy Lisa Pachence, MCC, who's an executive coach for overachievers. She's so great at helping people have a great life, and she's agreed to write this guest blog. Lisa writes: 

Appreciating both our strengths and our lovable weaknesses is vital. We are most lovable and easy to connect with when we embrace our humanity in its entirety.

But that's a LOT easier said than done sometimes. 

Once upon a time, I was in a situation where I was taking a lot of criticism from someone we'll call "The Grinch". This person was harsh, focusing on small details they didn't like, and speaking up early and often about how I should be doing things better. 

Harsh criticism is my krypto…

In the coaching world, we know how important it is to be "centered" and "grounded" before, during, and after sessions. In fact, many of us say that we find coaching itself to be centering and grounding. That deep level of listening to another does us a world of good, too, doesn't it?

But sometimes those words sound a little jargony and we don't remember exactly what our best ways of doing them are, both for coaching and for everyday life with ourselves and those we love. And what's the differen…

Understanding pro-relational boundaries has been a huge part of my journey as a coach. I used to think that setting boundaries was mainly about saying “no” to people (and also being a selfish jerk). 

My religious upbringing, as well as living as a woman in our patriarchal, hierarchical society, eroded my sense of boundaries by emphasizing self-sacrifice, obedience, compliance, and unconditional forgiveness, often at the expense of my well-being. 

I often felt guilty or unworthy of prioritizing…

We've all heard the quote from Jesus: "the truth will set you free." 

Often, I believe thoughts that go through my head, even though they're not true. In my own life, I create chaos when I'm living in unhelpful thought patterns like: 

• "I'm not lovable."
• "I'm defective."
• "People don't want to be with me."

The Work of Byron Katie is a beautiful coaching method of inquiry that invites us to challenge our distorted thoughts and beliefs, leading to a more peaceful and loving relationship wit…