Ethics can get real

Ethics is more fascinating than you may think! As a coach, love and non-judgment are our starting and ending places, which isn't as easy as it sounds. 

Sometimes you may come across people that are very different from you, and so one thing that is really important is to just imagine any kind of scenario in which you might feel you have any kind of judgment toward another person, and consider how you can best serve that person while remaining true to yourself. 

Let me give you a scenario:

Let's imagine that a coach grew up as a carefree girl in Italy, fascinated by the cycles of the moon. She likes to go out and do dances in the woods at the full moon and use crystals to gain insight. She believes in the magic of the earth and the innate power of women. She shares a cozy stone house together in Stromboli with her wife.

And this American Christian man approaches her for coaching because he's heard good things about the results she gets. He goes to church weekly and reads his Bible each morning. He's a huge fan of fly fishing.

What if the coach has an internal response of "I find Christians so judgmental", "I don't like Americans. They're so loud", or "I don't like men"? What does she do? Is it ethical for her to coach this person? Does she inwardly squirm, but take this man's money?

Hmmmmm....  There is not a rule that says she must not coach this person. But the basic principle is that coaches always need to do what is in the client's best interest. As a coach, it's my job to enter into the client's worldview and support them to achieve their goals.

The coach has a couple of options.

1) The coach could go to her own coach, and deal with her issues so she can be supportive of this person fully. She could continue to coach him while doing her own inner work, becoming the kind of person that would truly be able to love and support someone who is from a different worldview.

2) Or, she could very respectfully say to this person, "You know what, I am finding that I just have certain things coming up for me that would not make me the best coach for you. I think you would be really well suited to be coached by someone on this list of coaches who come from America, who come from a similar religious background to you, and who would really be able to help you out with your goals."

3) Or, she could be really clear in advance in how she presents herself, to make sure that people know exactly who she loves to help and what she loves to help them with. She can present herself so that people are aware of who she is, her values, her background, and what makes her the best coach for them.

So, there is more than one way to handle it, as long as I can honestly say I can respect and value this person, take on their perspective of the world, and be able to move forward with helping them with whatever they want coaching on. Make sense?

Learning coaching ethics has really helped me become a bigger person, a more thoughtful person, someone who has a bit of rigor in my structures and my thinking, and in my use of honoring language, whenever I speak about others. It's lovely! It's about honesty, about direct communication, it's about really caring for the other person and treating them with kindness in your thoughts in your speech. It's a great way to live.