Those sneaky, sneaky values

Our values shape the way we live, guiding decisions and fueling motivation. The sneaky thing is that while we might say we value one thing, it's our actions that tell the truth. Most of us say we value certain things, yet we're so confused when we find ourselves living according to a different set of values. How to get them to line up?

It can be so energizing to create a life that feels congruent and aligned, so that your professed values and your actual decisions are one and the same.

What is a Values Hierarchy?

Values are deep drivers of behavior, representing what is important to us. A values hierarchy determines which values we prioritize when faced with choices. For example, someone with "security" at the top of their hierarchy may behave differently from someone who prioritizes "freedom." If these values no longer align with you, you won't be feeling your best.

Values in Action: The Truth Behind Our Choices

It’s easy to claim a value, but our true values are reflected in our actions, not just our words. Imagine you say, "I value time outside," but on a sunny day, you stay indoors cleaning the kitchen instead. What other values might be quietly driving your behavior? Perhaps "responsibility" or "hard work" ranks higher in your hierarchy than time in nature?

Ask yourself:

• What values are truly influencing my choices?
• What fears or beliefs might arise if I prioritize differently?

If you drop the sponge and lie on the grass, values-related fears could surface:

• "Am I being lazy?" (Responsibility or productivity at play)
• "What if I fall behind?" (Success or security showing up)

Exploring these hidden influences, and becoming OK with what we fear can help with alignment and choice.

Steps to Change Your Values Hierarchy

1.

List the values you hold most important. Be honest and reflective—what truly motivates your decisions? Examples might include "peace," "adventure," "growth," "integrity," or "success."

2.

Order your values from most to least important. Notice which value consistently influences major life choices. Is it aligned with the outcomes you desire?

3.

Imagine the life you want. Which values would need to move up or down to create that reality? If "freedom" has been low on your list but you crave flexibility, consider elevating it.

4.

You can use your imagination to change how you experience values emotionally. For example:

• Visualize the new hierarchy. Make the most important value vivid, bright, and close. Let others fade into the background. For example, if your value of "fun" has been hiding out low in your values hierarchy, and it might serve you to choose fun more often, you might visualize your most fun moments and allow those images, sounds, and feelings to expand.
• If you've been compulsively choosing "responsibility" and "discipline", you might visualize those and imagine them fading slowly away. If there's any fear, consider accepting your emotions and asking them to step back just a touch so you can continue your imaginative process.
  

5.

Values are lived through action. Ask yourself:

• "What will I do differently now that I prioritize this value?"
• "How will I recognize that I'm living out my new values hierarchy?"

Example: From "Security" to "Growth"

If security has been your top value, leading to safe but uninspiring choices, moving "growth" higher might push you toward bold decisions. You can practice anchoring feelings of excitement and courage to reinforce this shift. For example, consider jumping up and down whenever you notice yourself growing - and then notice how your feet feel, and how your cheeks are lifted in a smile after you've enjoyed celebrating growth. 

Cultivate Flexibility and Review

Changing your values hierarchy is an evolving process. Periodically revisit your priorities to ensure they align with your aspirations. By intentionally reordering values, you create a life led by conscious choice rather than unconscious programming.