Coach Approach Blog

What are you living for? What is your purpose?

Rarely do most of us stop to ask these questions when we get busy with all the daily tasks, crises, and demands. But what if you were living out your purpose on a regular basis? 

Wouldn't it be nice to have a way to know exactly what to say yes to and what to say no to, with full permission and joy?

For myself, my purpose is clear. I create communities of grace. 

Now that I know that I'm here to create communities of grace, I know what to spend …

To label yourself a good or a bad person (or any other label - the klutz, the responsible one, the misfit, etc) is to severely limit yourself.

It's far healthier to take a look at your behaviors and see how they're lining up with your core values.

When you choose a behavior that goes against who you'd like to be - honest, warm, connected, kind, calm, etc. - you're likely to feel uneasy, unhappy, unsure. You might even call yourself a "bad" person. "I'm such a bad mom. I yelled at my kids again…

Many people talk about "managing" or "controlling" their emotions. However, emotions are meant to be felt! Once they’re fully felt, a person is in a better position to choose their behaviors and manage their thoughts.

Rather than focusing on controlling emotions, stuffing them, or ignoring them, it’s healthier to focus on acceptance, curiosity, and empathy.

However, many of us are living with the mistaken belief that emotions are HUGE and overwhelming. We think, "If I let myself cry, I might n…

Imagine you are coaching someone who is wracked with self-doubt. What would happen if you could ask a question that would shift their awareness to what they can trust in themselves?

What about a person who is blaming themselves for a mistake; what questions might help them move from blame toward responsibility?

Sometimes people will be struggling with regret, with consequences of the past, and with a nagging wondering about “why”. Others get caught up in their fears, or they make assumptions t…

Have you ever felt that part of you wanted something really badly, and another part of you wanted the opposite? To the extent that your whole being was sending double signals to your conversation partners, and the whole system was in tension? 

That can be really confusing and painful, especially if you think that you should always know just what you want and go for it wholeheartedly. Sometimes things aren't that simple. There's a hierarchy of values. There are systems in play. 

Just this morni…

How do you feel when someone acknowledges you?

How often does someone let you know that they see you, that you are getting the results that you want, and notice what it must have taken you to achieve it? If you're like many people, it can feel that you hear more from others when you make mistakes.

In an ancient parable, the owner of a field tells the servants not to uproot the weeds, ”because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them.”

Plenty of people will criticize an…

"Do I have to be perfect to be a coach?"

A fear I’ve noticed in many people who are thinking about joining a helping profession is that they will have to be better, know more, have their lives together, and be a role model to those they serve. 

While there’s a grain of truth in that - coaches are certainly always learning and growing and doing our best to practice what we preach - there’s a real danger in holding ourselves to unrealistic standards.

I remember the day I decided to take my firs…

I found myself throwing a clean, empty glass jar of pasta sauce into the recycling bin in the garage, and I thought, “How did this jar become empty and how did I get to the garage?”

I had no recollection of pouring the sauce into the pan on the stove, running a little water into the jar and creating a swirl, pouring the last drops out with a little shake, and rinsing the jar.

I had been so engrossed in my thoughts that several minutes passed on autopilot while I was elsewhere. It wasn’t until …

It's good to see you again! I'd love to hear from you - what burning topic would you like me to write about? What's going on with you these days that you'd like some support with? 

So many questions! And in coaching, there are three main questions that can make all the difference in your life. I remember very well the first time I heard them spelled out clearly. 

A Canadian coach named Suzanne Stevens had come to Nairobi, Kenya where I was living. Even though I'm American, I had somehow gotten…

Every second Saturday, I drive to the doctor and the pharmacy to pick up a couple of prescriptions. Last time, though, other family members needed the car, so I decided to bike. 

It was a windy, rainy morning. I'm already a bit of a klutz and not great at spatial awareness, and I was getting kind of nervous. I wondered how I would cross the highway. What would it be like to navigate busy roundabouts, making the hand signals? Where would I park my bike?

Until I got to the highway and realized t…