Coach Approach

Being in control is a key survival skill and a big step to self-leadership. Learning to take charge of how you use your body and mind to be a blessing in the world is important for building a more brave and loving place for us all. 

Being controlling, however, is what happens when people reach beyond their own boundaries and into the lives of others. Many people do this with the belief that they are helping.

Some parents still try to force their grown children to behave in ways that they find …

I just had a wrap-up session with a client, which is a time of great celebration and gratitude for all the learning, change, and growth that's happened during a season of coaching. 

What surprised me the most was when this person especially thanked me for calling her out about "fake tears".

She said that now she can easily recognize when her tears are a helpful movement through real grief or joy, and when they're a sign of believing falsehoods. She even tells her friends, "Oops, those are my f…

I remember being in a session with my spiritual director one sunny afternoon in Nairobi when she asked me to "focus my desires".

I had a visceral reaction, thinking that she must have asked me the wrong question. In the world I had grown up in, desires were evil. They were to be shut down in favor of God's will, which was assumed to be in direct opposition to anything I would want.

What possible good would come from focusing on my own desires?

Imagine that you had a desire for pizza. You can …

If you've been around Awaken long, you've probably heard the word loving-kindness. That's the way we like to be. But how does it relate to compassion - another of our favorite words? 

There's a saying:

"When the sunshine of loving-kindness meets the tears of suffering, the rainbow of compassion appears."

That means that when situations of sorrow happen, and you remain in the kind and caring state that you've built up in your life, it will naturally manifest as compassion.

The more you streng…

I just had the most beautiful, presence-filled conversation with a coaching colleague, Joan Leteipa, who was describing her spiritual journey and how she feels while coaching. 

Visualizing the analogy of a pair of scissors, she brought out a real pair to illustrate each point. 

So much of the time we live in the drama of the “muscle end” of the scissors. That space where the thumb and fingers are set through those two large holes. Working so hard. Endlessly and vigorously moving the muscles an…

Do you ever get confused by the seemingly mixed messages around us? Some people firmly and loudly proclaim, “You are perfect just the way you are!" Others are equally convinced of the opposite, "You can do better! Keep striving to improve.”

For coaches, this is more than a philosophical question. Are we loving people just the way they are, or are we helping them to improve?

Some people assume that self-improvement can only come by believing there’s something inherently wrong or flawed within y…

Coaches are so fun and creative. That's our job - to walk with people who are stuck in small, limited ways of thinking about themselves and what's possible to be able to live fully and joyfully.

That's not always easy to do with our puny, little words. So we like to have a whole range of fun, lighthearted learning,  and growing tools available to shake things up a little. 

You can use some of these tools, too, the next time you're feeling stagnant, unsure, turbulent, stuck, or just not as focu…

Have I mentioned lately that you mean a lot to me? Being here together with you in our community brings a big smile to my face. 

I don't know if you've taken the time to peruse the Awaken Coach Institute logo, but you're within it! 

You might have noticed the vibrant, peaceful, joyful blue that makes up the roots, trunk and branches of our tree of life.

This tree is a powerful symbol that reminds me of the moment when I was 28 years old. I was awake in the night, depressed and consumed with a…

What are you living for? What is your purpose?

Rarely do most of us stop to ask these questions when we get busy with all the daily tasks, crises, and demands. But what if you were living out your purpose on a regular basis? 

Wouldn't it be nice to have a way to know exactly what to say yes to and what to say no to, with full permission and joy?

For myself, my purpose is clear. I create communities of grace. 

Now that I know that I'm here to create communities of grace, I know what to spend …

To label yourself a good or a bad person (or any other label - the klutz, the responsible one, the misfit, etc) is to severely limit yourself.

It's far healthier to take a look at your behaviors and see how they're lining up with your core values.

When you choose a behavior that goes against who you'd like to be - honest, warm, connected, kind, calm, etc. - you're likely to feel uneasy, unhappy, unsure. You might even call yourself a "bad" person. "I'm such a bad mom. I yelled at my kids again…