Coach Approach

When I lived in Kenya, I used to coach a couple who would drive together from quite a distance. I coached each of them separately under a small grass hut, and the other spouse would often be visible from inside the nearby restaurant.

They would laugh at how thoughtful, relaxed, and still I was with the husband. And how animated, vivacious, laughing, and full of movement I was with the wife. Was I a chameleon?

I’ve often thought about this dynamic - the need for my coaching presence to be adapt…

One of my coach trainers, Alan Seale, has developed eight profound, simple, direct questions to approach complex situations in a way that goes beyond the analytical mind and cuts through to the essence. I find that asking myself a few of these before making a decision or moving to action can open up new possibilities of love and softness. 

You might inhale deep into your belly and open your heart, as you begin asking yourself the eight questions about whatever's going on in your life right now.…

We all see the world through filters, without even knowing it.

Our early experiences shape any new data that comes into our awareness, and we just live that "reality" as if it were true.

Those distortions and generalizations are then called beliefs, but we're often completely unaware that we're even holding the beliefs - they just feel like truth. 

Those beliefs don't have a full update on how old we are, how wise we are, how we could be noticing different things, or interpreting what we do n…

When I was about five years old, my parents took a vow of poverty, and pledged to give away most of their income for the rest of their lives. Which was hard for me as one of the older children, expected to participate in giving and giving and giving, without having needs of my own. I was to be a giver, not a taker.

Over time, I developed a love/hate relationship with generosity. I wanted to be generous, but I was upset that it came with so much pain. I wanted good things for myself, but was afr…

Over the past few years, I've been practicing Letting Go. It feels horrible - harsh, disloyal, rude, unkind, selfish.... all the way until I actually DO it. Then, it feels like freedom, relief, energy, goodness, and aliveness. 

So, I'm on a journey to let go a whole h*ck of a lot sooner, and trust my gut to do so. 

When I was in college in the late 80s (yes, I'm totally owning being 52), I started dating this guy we'll call "Dave". I'm not even sure how we started dating - it seems like he wan…

Before I became a coach, and I was struggling to decide if I wanted to invest in a coach training course, I remember being asked, "What's holding you back?"

The answer shocked me, because I could hear this old voice in my head saying, "Who do you think you are? Your life is a mess. You're a basket case. What makes you think you have anything to offer?"

However, when I was reading the book Whole Child Whole Parent by Polly Berrien Berends, she told a story in which her child said to her, "But, …

Ethics is more fascinating than you may think! As a coach, love and non-judgment are our starting and ending places, which isn't as easy as it sounds. 

Sometimes you may come across people that are very different from you, and so one thing that is really important is to just imagine any kind of scenario in which you might feel you have any kind of judgment toward another person, and consider how you can best serve that person while remaining true to yourself. 

Let me give you a scenario:

Let'…

“You can’t be anything you want to be, but you can be a whole lot more of who you already are.” ~Tom Rath

Valeyne Grotrian is one of our senior faculty members with Awaken Coach Institute. She offered a fantastic CliftonStrengths workshop within our community about being even more fully yourself. She said, 

"The first time I heard this Tom Rath quote about 15 years ago, I was in disbelief at its claims. Maybe even a little ready to pick a fight with whomever Tom Rath was. How dare you discoura…

Now is the time to……. Raise your number by one

Sometimes I like to take a really short, deep rest with yoga nidra - a practice that's like sleeping, and it's a quick way to rejuvenate mid-day. (#coachinghack) I follow Ally Boothroyd on youtube. Ally always begins by asking me to see if I can get "just one percent more comfortable".

With a quick scan of my body, I can usually find that moving one hand, adjusting a pillow, taking a sip of water, or covering my eyes, with the intent of becoming "o…

If you're like me, you grew up learning the "Golden Rule" -  treat others the way you want to be treated. 

It wasn't until later that I figured out that everyone is unique. The way I want to be treated isn't the same as the way another person wants to be treated. 

For example, my dad always taught me to ask for exactly what I want. He told me that asking for things clearly is kind and helpful to others (and more likely to meet with success). I appreciate it when someone tells me what they need…